the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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