I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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