i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
