Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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