Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
