We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize
