hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
