Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
