I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
