last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You are a genius and a whore.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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