Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
