paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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