Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Randomize
