Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
