i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
someone owes me an orgasm
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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