So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize