I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
worst night to have a conscience
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
