all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
