so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
