I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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