Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
