Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
