just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
