mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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