and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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