make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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