I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
