Umm I'm too high to move.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
