oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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