ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
