there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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