I'm eating all of the evidence.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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