It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
where are you?
Hypothermia
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
