ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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