I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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