i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
