Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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