I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
