he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
