i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
