No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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