is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Randomize
