lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
