ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I know her cup size but not her name....
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
