if you like me you must not know who I am
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
