guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
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i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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