he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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