Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
