even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
