make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
