are you so shy because you have an std?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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