I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
