He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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