About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
