Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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