I hope mine doesn't look like that
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
