you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
