How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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