I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
