everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
